


Broken and Repaired

by laadychat



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Fluff, Identity Reveal, some scenes can be triggering, somewhat happy ending, the poor teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2020-11-07 17:38:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20821214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laadychat/pseuds/laadychat
Summary: They were breaking at the seams, each one struggling with their own demons. But what better way than fight this battle than together?*There is a nightmare scene that mentions blood, but nothing too graphic. Wasn't 100% sure how to rate this.





	Broken and Repaired

He didn't know what to do.  
  
The modeling, the school, the constant akuma attacks - he just _didn't know what to do_.  
  
So he continued to smile as if nothing was wrong. He continued to banter with his lady, as if the world wasn't slowly closing in on him.  
  
What else can you do when it's clear that the universe doesn't have a happy ending set for you?  
  
His mom was gone, he had to schedule meetings with his father in order to even talk to him-  
  
_The lady of his dreams didn't see him like that_.  
  
But he still had his friends. And when he's in school, he doesn't want to think about anything else. He doesn't want to think about akumas and Ladybug and his parents- he just wanted act like a normal student with a normal life. Nothing out of the ordinary.  
  
Don't get him wrong, he absolutely loves the thrill of being Chat Noir. But he couldn't help feeling helpless and useless whenever he gets hit with the akuma. Sure, Ladybug always talks about them being equal but were they really?  
  
_Really?_  
  
He knew his lady could handle the akumas by herself.  
  
Coming back to school, lately it's just been a field mine. Most his friends still favored Lila and were fooled by her ways, while a few others were clearly not captured by her obvious lies. All in all, the drama was stressful.  
  
Just, why, _why_, couldn't something work in his favor for once?  
  
Just why couldn't anyone tell him what happened to his mother, why his father was always so distant, why, why, _why_.  
  
Why couldn't everything be easy?  
  
Not everything, just _anything_.  
  
Sighing to the millionth time that day, Adrien walked up the stairs with deliberately slow, calculated steps. Since when did he start to dread school? He didn't know, couldn't _remember_. Then again, that's where his friends are, right? He wouldn't be alone anymore.  
  
That did little to lighten his mood. Whatever, it beat being home, that's for sure.  
  
As he walked, he made sure to keep up his facade - no one needed to know that Adrien Agreste was breaking at the seams.  
  
But he has to admit, he felt a little bitter on how no one seemed to notice. Not even _Nino_.

That hurt a little.  
  
Who was he kidding? No one really liked him, they were just being too nice. He was just a spoiled, home-schooled boy who came crashing through their lives out of no where - why would they care? If he's own father won't pay attention to them, why should they?  
  
But suddenly, it was as if a the first sunray of the week was breaking through the dark clouds that surrounded his head when he caught sight of something that was on his desk.  
  
A familiar looking pastery bag and a to-go cup next to it.  
  
His eyes soften and the first real smile in a while was tugging on his lips. Because of course Marinette noticed. When he looked over at her to express his gratitude, he was greeted with the sight of a passed out girl.  
  
His smile quickly morphed itself to a frown, his heart aching at the sight. Besides him, it seems like the girl was always tired. He knew being the class representative and all those commissions coming in - she's barely gotten a break. Adrien stared at her fondly, sending to any God out there to give the girl the break she deserved because despite having her own problems, she still went of her way to make him feel better.  
  
That within itself made him extremely glad he came to school today.  
  
-  
  
All that warm feeling from this morning was gone. Completely replaced by anguish and concern- he wasn't expecting this.  
  
Marinette had quickly left once the lunch bell ring, only pausing briefly to shoot him a smile. A smile that was obviously forced but it was her eyes that shattered his heart. Those were not the warm, soft gaze of the bluenette he was use to, but one he often finds in front of the mirror.  
  
Lifeless, exhausted, _dead_ eyes.  
  
It took a moment for his heart to jump start again. And only a few more to go search for her.  
  
He was already dreading about what he would find, but _this_, this wasn't what he expected.  
  
Wait, _no_. He had expected it but was hoping against all hope it wasn't it.  
  
The model found her in one of the corners in the locker room, hunched up in a ball. A tight, shaking ball. The sight froze him in his spot, unable to comprehend that this was Marinette - strong, amazing, kind Marinette - that was making herself seem small to the world.  
  
But the choked sob that came from that specific corner? That's what really had him dropping his stuff right where he stood and diving towards the shaking figure.  
  
"Marinette," he whispered, afraid of startling her. "It's okay, Marinette, you're not alone."  
  
He hated the sound of her cries, the way she seemed to jump at his voice, the way she refused to look at him. He wanted to do anything, _anything_, stop her from feeling like this.  
  
Unsure, but determined, Adrien wrapped his arms around her and pulled her towards him. Her cries came to a halt but when he pressed her head into his chest, hugged her tight, muttered soothing words against her hair, she came undone.  
  
He held her, refusing to let go until he knew she was feeling a little better. She's been there for him, it only makes sense for him to do the same.  
  
He still held on even when her cries stopped. God knows how much he wanted for someone to comfort him like this on his rough days but he would never, _never_, let Marinette feel that hopelessness. Not on his watch.  
  
"Lunch is almost over," he said softly, chin resting on her head. "Do you want to go to class or should I walk you home?"  
  
She didn't reply right away but that was fine with Adrien. He could wait right here all day with her.  
  
When she did reply, he was taken aback by the request but something warm blossomed in his chest.  
  
"Can we stay like this..." her voice hoarse, she tucked herself tighter in his embrace. "just for a little longer?"  
  
Who was Adrien to deny such a request? Without any other word, he made himself more comfortable and pulled her closer.  
  
And later that day, when he would glance at her and received the soft smile of gratitude, well, that was just between them.  
  
-  
  
He felt a little lighter when he went home - knowing he was able to make a good friend of his feel better had somehow made him feel a bit better. Like he somehow can do some good still.  
  
(The fact that of all people it was Marinette definitely had an impact but Adrien wouldn't admit it.)  
  
Up until he was sitting at dinner, alone, once again. Alone at a table too big and too cold. Eating a meal that hadn't been made with his wants in mind- very much like the cold and heartless walls staring back at him. Even Nathalie wasn't keeping him company tonight - was it really too much to ask for? Was it too much to ask the two adult he loves to pay attention to him, even just a little? Why must he have to spend his time alone?  
  
Adrien wanted to knock on his father's door, desperately. But the last time he did such things, it didn't end too well for him. It's pretty much clear where he stands with his father and it doesn't seem to be changing anytime soon.  
  
That realization left a bitter taste in his mouth, his throat closing up with the sheer weight of it. The dawning, terrifying conclusion that maybe his father didn't want him anymore. Suddenly, the bleak looking food was starting to make him sick. Pushing the food away and dragging himself back into his room, he collapsed on his bed. Despite how much he wanted to fight against that one thought, to throw it away and never have such an idea ever again, he couldn't. It made too much sense.  
  
He really was bad luck wherever he went.  
  
"Hey, kid, talk to me."  
  
Blinking, Adrien turned towards the voice. He almost forgotten that he wasn't completely alone. "What?"  
  
"You have that look again. Talk to me, tell me what's on your mind." The small creature landed on the boy's chest, staring at him intensely.  
  
He debated on what to say. Who was he to complain about his life? He was well off, had amazing friends, he even got to be a super hero, for goodness sake. How could he not be happy? Shouldn't he be happy?  
  
"No, no," Plagg muttered, tapping on Adrien's cheeks. "We can talk in a moment, it's time for patrol."  
  
Right. Patrol. With Ladybug.  
  
With much effort needed than necessary, he pushed himself up and called onto his transformation.  
  
  
-  
  
It's all starting to stack up.  
  
Being class representative, helping out her parents, being half of the super hero duo - it's just _too much._  
  
Sure, what was there to complain about? She had amazing parents, her friends were great, she had amazing fighting partner - what could be going wrong?  
  
It definitely not because of the constant event planning, helping out any of her classmates with whatever problem arises, despite her lack of communication with a certain Italian she still manages to still make her day a mess and-  
  
_Just everything_.  
  
People are expecting too much from Ladybug _and_ Marinette.  
  
But what could she do besides moving forward, pushing herself harder, trying to please everyone?  
  
Let's not forget that as Ladybug, she has a whole different weight on her shoulders. One she doesn't regret but makes some days harder than other.  
  
And the downside? She couldn't let herself get akumatized. She couldn't let herself _feel_ too much. It was exhausting to constantly have to keep herself in check and some days, she just wanted to take the earrings off and scream. Scream, cry, just _something_ besides bottling it all up with nowhere for it to go.  
  
Shaking her head, she dragged herself off her bed. There was, however, one thing on her to-do list she was more focused on than any other thing.  
  
And that was to get Adrien Agreste some breakfast.  
  
She's noticed how lately, the usual sunshine boy was not being himself. But when she brought it up to Nino or Alya, they brushed it off with a roll of their eyes, declaring that the blonde boy was indeed okay. But Marinette knew this wasn't the case.  
  
And every time she's brought him something, it was then that she would see that spark of his reignite again. She made up her mind, she'd try to bring him breakfast as often as she could.  
  
By the time she had rested the goods on his desk, she was barely able to keep her eyes open. She almost didn't make it to her seat by the time she passed out.

-

_It started the same._   
  
_ With her partner by her side, staring at her in terror. The blood, the gash, the whimper that escaped his lips, the way-_   
  
_ "How could you do this, m'Lady?"_   
  
_ She couldn't move, couldn't speak - God, why couldn't she move?_   
  
_ Chat Noir fell to his knees, his eyes never leaving her's. The blood, there was so much, too much, why was there so much._   
  
_ "Chat-" she choked out, her hands trying to catch him, but couldn't she move. "Chat, I'm so sorry!"_   
  
_ "It's all your fault." He cried out, slipping down and disappearing, leaving behind another one at his wake._

_"Look at you, you nasty bug. I loathe you." He growled, baring his teeth as he stocked closer. "What are you going to do? You're so tiny, I could eat you up."_

_Frozen, shocked, unable to move as he lunged at her, she could only stare, fear gripping her heart tightly. The last thing she saw was the black lipsticked stained lips and hatred filled eyes before feeling arms wrapping around her, creating a barrier between her and the other Chat Noir. _

_"Chat!" she found her voice, terror gripping her as she felt the body against her shudder and groan. "Oh, God-" she clutched the boy, feeling him sink to the ground, feeling him disappearing. She felt more than heard the cough that wracked his body. She pulled back and the sight she saw, blood dripping from his lips, ears losing their shine, him disappearing. _   
  
_ "Don't leave me, Chat." She whimpered, falling on her knees with her dying partner in her arms. "Oh my God, Chat..."_   
  
_ He smiled up at her, his eyes displaying the amount of love and affection he felt for her. "I'll always have your back, bug."_   
  
_ This was her fault. Everything was her fault. She failed Paris, she failed Master Fu, but most importantly, she failed Chat Noir, her partner._

_Don't you dare, leave me, Chat._  
  
-  
  
The nightmare was brief and she had to thank her luck she didn't scream when she came too. But that, that nightmare would not leave her alone. With shaky hands, she undid her pigtails and ran her finger through her hair, trying to calm her crazed heart.  
  
The sight was still fresh in her mind, the way Chat Noir looked at her with such betrayal and utter distaste- it took everything for her not to break down right then and there.  
  
She caught Alya's gaze and gave her what she hoped was a smile. Clearly, it didn't work, if Alya's frown was anything to go by, but Marinette didn't have time to care. Shaking her head, Marinette decided to keep her hair down and focus on the board in front of her.  
  
But it just. wouldn't. go away.  
  
So much blood, so much hate in those eyes, Paris in crumbles behind him- how could she have failed her partner so devastatingly? So utterly?  
  
It's just a nightmare, Chat is fine.  
  
She knew it's only a nightmare and _Chat is fine_.  
  
Right? _Right?_  
  
Chat had to be fine. Sure, she noticed him being more reserved, more quiet, more not-Chat-like but he had to be - no, she didn't know.  
  
And it was all. _her. fault_.  
  
Wasn't Chat the one person she trusts her life with? The one person she felt the most comfortable around? The one person she would lay her life down for without any hesitation?  
  
So why doesn't she trust him with her identity?  
  
What if her nightmare comes true? What if she caused the down fall of Paris?  
  
_What if Hawkmoth wins?_  
  
The school bell rung, startling her out of her thoughts, only to have the emotions hit her with full force.  
  
_ 'It's your fault.'_  
  
The words kept repeating themselves, seemingly getting louder with each one. She had to get out, get out from here. Bolting out of her seat, Marinette threw her friends a smile(she didn't want them to worry about her despite her coming undone) and sprinted towards the locker rooms. She could vaguely hear her kwami trying to keep her calm but she just couldn't. Not this time. Not while that cursed image was running through her mind.  
  
Not while he disappeared between her hands.  
  
She collapsed in a corner, the first sob breaking through before she met the ground. Curling herself inwards, she pulled her knees tightly against her chest, shielding herself from the world as much as possible. It was getting too much- the stress, the thoughts, the nightmares- all too much.  
  
Hawkmoth is going to win. She's going to fail.  
  
She's gonna lose Chat.  
  
Suddenly, she felt arms wrap around her, tugging her towards themselves. Glancing up, she felt her heart drop because_ why was Adrien holding her?_  
  
But what he said next broke her.  
  
_"You're not alone."_  
  
Her walls crumpled, shattering what little composure she managed to build. And she cried.  
  
And cried.  
  
And cried because she finally could.  
  
Being held like what with no judgment, well, she wanted to embrace it a little bit longer.  
  
-  
  
"Chat."  
  
The boy in question's ear perked up, wary at the tone she used. But he couldn't help but frown while looking at his partner. He knew she was strong- God, he loves that about her- but lately? He could see the struggle through her eyes.  
  
The way her smile seems to grow smaller each time they see each other, the way she seemed to be just a tad bit slower, the way she didn't joke on their patrols anymore.  
  
He wished he could do something, _anything_, to help her. But she constantly pushed him away, declaring that she was fine every single time.  
  
Even the strongest people need to breathe and be vulnerable sometimes.  
  
"Ladybug."  
  
The spotted hero turned around to face her partner. The boy looked just as drain as she did- but his eyes. Where were the smiles? The jokes? The twinkle in his eyes?  
  
Her partner was cracking and she mentally kicked herself for not checking in on him earlier. But she has tried- oh, so many times. He always brushed it off, always joked about it, always deflected her questions-_ she just wanted to know if he was okay._  
  
"Do you..." she paused, glancing away for a brief moment. "Chat, are you okay?"  
  
Chat Noir took a step back, eyes furrowed in surprise. He wasn't expecting such a question.  
  
Ladybug recognized that and it only fueled her anger towards herself. "Chat, what's going on?" She repeated the question, her heart sinking when she noticed her partner raising his guard. His shoulder straightened slightly, his lips curling at the end in a way that didn't reach his eyes, the curt nod he sent her way.  
  
"Of course. Why do you ask?"  
  
"Chat."  
  
Just that _one_ word. The way she said his name, so gentle and so soft, he couldn't stop his walls from falling, even if he wanted to keep them up. How could he tell her exactly what was wrong? How could he mention that without explaining what his life is like outside of the masks? 

_What exactly is wrong?_

Everything.  
  
But for just once, he didn't want to hide it. He didn't want to lock it up, put on a brave face, and act like nothing is wrong when _everything _is wrong. Not when she was staring at him like that, like he meant something to her. Call him selfish, inconsiderate, _whatever- _he was tired and wanted someone to see how not okay he was.

_And Ladybug saw him._  
  
Ladybug watched him, her heart squeezing when she saw his composure crumble and _oh-_  
  
He wasn't just not okay, he was _hurting_.  
  
The pain she saw behind those bright, green eyes were going to haunt for the rest of her days. The tremble in his hands as he raked his fingers through his hair, the shaky breathes he took in, the hunched shoulder as he turned away from her-

There's nothing she wouldn't do for him at the moment.

"I think... I don't, uh," she stole a glance in the boy's direction, only to quickly look away again. "Do you think we should reveal ourselves to each other?"  
  
The silence that came after was too deafening as it stretched, both heroes staring at each with so much emotions, so many feelings.   
  
They both had too many restless night thinking about the other, too many of uncertain days, _too many secrets._  
  
"Why?"  
  
_Why now, Ladybug?_ He wanted to ask. _What changed your mind? _

"Because," she said, letting her partner see the vulnerability she tried so hard to hide from him, the uncertainty, the _pain._ "I think we both need our best friend outside of the mask."  
  
Neither seemed ready to speak up quite yet after that confession. Hadn't that been what's been on their minds lately? How much easier would it be if they just knew who the other was? 

Wouldn't it make everything easier?  
  
"We're... we're not okay, Chat. It kills me whenever I don't see you and I can't just call you up to see how you're doing. I hate you having to go to that prison of a home and I just-" she forced out, trembling hands covering her mouth as she choked back a sob. "I just want to know if you're _okay_."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Such a simple answer to a complicated problem. What more did Chat Noir want? Having his best friend be by his side, being able to call them up whenever-

_Have someone care for him._

And what she said was only the truth- they weren't okay and who else could he possibly trust other than her at this point? She's his best friend and the one person who's opinion really mattered. Having her with him, well, there's nothing else he would ask for.  
  
The spotted hero's shoulder slumped with relief. Where she got this irrational fear of him rejecting her was beyond her understanding but now? Now, she could breathe a bit normally now, the tight knot in her stomach loosening up. The thought of being able to just call him up whenever, to check up on him after an attack, overrides any fear she had about their reveal.

Because if there was one thing that kept them going, it was that fact that they were doing this _together._  
  
"No matter who you are, kitty, you will always be my best friend."

That statement, that _confession_, had toppled down any other insecurity he felt about revealing himself. He took her hands, brushed his thumb against them and with a soft smile he nodded. "We're in this together, bugaboo."

And they were. Together- partners who trusts each other more than what was humanly possible, who would fight with every ounce of power in their bodies for each other, who would do anything to ease the burden of the other.


End file.
